WHITE HOUSE > A Sh*t Hole in Africa

I have always been troubled about why a world superpower like Amerika, calls the highest and most honourable place on their land “White House”. Obviously I am not so jealous of the fact that so far this Noble House, which is the seat of Government, has had Forty Five (46) Presidents and counting.

Now, will you believe, if I tell you that in Afrika, especially in Ghana, where I grew up, “White House” is a place one will think of visiting only when he or she has a stomach upset? Well If you didn’t know, by the kind courtesy of my handwriting, now you know. Period.

About Twenty-five or so years ago. I visited a friend at his house. After eating two balls of my favourite food, (banku and Groundnut soup) He just entered his room and came out with a toilet roll. Indeed, my curiosity got me to ask him where he was off to. I’m going to visit Bill Clinton, he said. In fact, I was speechless. Standing in front of me was a young man, in a little unknown dirty vicinity, called Bubiashie, telling me he is going to see Bill Clinton. I asked him how he was going to achieve that and all he said to me is: ‘just follow me’. So I followed and to my surprise, this guy was going to the lavatory. I just couldn’t stop laughing.

About eight years later, I visited another friend again. This time a female.  After thirty minutes of some chit chats. she scurried to that small building behind her apartment. So I asked: Whom are you going to see? she just screamed. ‘To see George W. Bush.’ Wow! I said. As if ordered by a military commander at an independence parade,  I stood motionless and speechless for close to thirty minutes without thoughts until my friend came to tickle me to wild laughter. After, all she could say was: I just returned from the white house. Honestly, I didn’t understand her.

I thought that was all. Now eight years down memory lane, for the first time in the world, Amerika made history by electing a black man as their president. I thought that cliché was going to end. But it got worst. Visiting Barrack Obama and the white house became a household jargon.  It became notoriously popular among people of all facets of our society. Communities that had their lavatories in centralized locations still referred to those places as “White House” Was it because blacks could freely use that term since they knew for a fact that Amerika had one of their own as President? Ironically the majority of such public places had black paints for their coatings.

At the time of writing this article. The term has tripled on the lips of every black man, woman, children, Albino, Virgins, the cripple, Lesbians and Gays, even including Hermaphrodites and trans-gendered species of the human race. This is because they feel the real “sh*t hole” is about to hit Afrika as Donald Trump is now the president-elect of the united states of Amerika.

In Afrika (Ghana), a “white house” as a term, provides comfort, it solves stomach upset problems, It is a place that brings the best smokers in our communities, every morning to display how skillful they are with smoke. It is a place that employs the best Sh*t Carriers, whose qualification, sometimes is an inheritance from their family. Until now, my mind cannot comprehend why in another country. It is the highest seat of Governance. If you know why you tell me.

Photo by James Frid from Pexels

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